Making Friends As An Adult

After high school graduation, students usually have the summer left together before heading into different directions. Whether it’s college, military, or work, those who were friends for many years begin to grow distant. Although college for some is an opportunity to make new friends in class or clubs, others may not have had that opportunity or experience. Years later growing out of young adulthood, it can feel lonely to not have friends.

Experiences throughout the school years could have created more self-awareness in what’s acceptable to talk about, and some people may have had negative experiences such as bullying and drama. These negative experiences could have created an increase in social anxiety, holding people back from talking to new people and making new friends.

Why is it important to have adult friendships? Making new, lasting friendships as an adult can be challenging however it has great benefits. Some benefits include:

Reduced loneliness

Friends can provide a sense of belonging and decrease feelings of isolation.

Stress reduction

Having social connections can reduce stress, especially having supportive and healthy friendships. Stress reduction can have positive impacts on overall mental and physical health, including blood pressure and heart rate activity.

Increased life satisfaction

Friendships are great for navigating life challenges together and celebrating success and achievements together.

New experiences and fun

Friends are great to try new things with, and help push you if you are nervous. They may already have activities they’re involved in for you to join, and vice versa.

Confidence/self-esteem

Having supportive friends can boost your confidence, and also increase self-awareness with honest feedback regarding behaviors, outfits, etc.

Sense of purpose

Friendships can help you feel like you belong and make positive impacts on the lives of others.

So, how do we make new friends as adults?  It’s all about the mindset we go into it with, rather than where we go to meet friends. A popular one tends to be going to the bar to meet new people. If we go into an experience with a positive, engaging mindset, we can make new friends at work, parks, grocery stores, and other local places. If we go into an interaction already thinking about rejection, you’re too boring or not fun, chances are the interaction will not go the best.

Seeking out new adventures and accepting invitations are also more great ways to make new friends as an adult. Life can be really busy as an adult, which declining invitations can be tempting to get that extra time of relaxing at home. Push yourself out of your comfort zone and accept more invitations to outings. This gives you an opportunity to meet new people at a mutual event or outing, which helps to spark conversation leading to other topics to talk about. Seeking out new adventures and activities is also helpful.

Are you someone who enjoys exercise? Join a local gym or community league. If you’re someone who enjoys animals, volunteer at your local animal shelter or bring your dog to the town’s dog park. Video games and video game leagues can be another opportunity to meet new people, only downside is these are virtual interactions and you likely can’t meet up with your online friends given they live in other states.

Now that you have some ideas on how to make new friends, maintaining them is just as important. Most adults understand that life is busy and you won’t have time every day or every week to do something together. You want to make sure you are reaching out to your new friends regularly, and make plans for at least once a month or once a quarter. Friendships go both ways, so it shouldn’t just be your friends reaching out to you all the time (or you only reaching out to them). The effort you put into friendships will be well worth it!